Embracing the Fighting Instinct: Understanding Its Purpose and Impact

Let's take some time to be present in this current moment. I am thrilled that you are here. I am feeling that way because you put down your need to fight to be able to sit here and be present. You have a vital skill, but I want to look into where that skill of fighting may have originated. How many times throughout your life have you had to fight? How many times have you taken up for someone else or yourself? Are you the one who fights?

If we were to return to your upbringing, I wonder what we would experience. I wonder how you would see that environment now that you are an adult. Would it be frightening? Would it be negligent? However you are currently experiencing it, I would invite you to sit with that for a moment. Let's talk more about the need to fight. Let us say that the environment you grew up in was chaotic. Within that chaos, you tried out some skillful behavior to deal with it at the time. You may have needed to be seen and heard because you were upset. Instead, your needs fell upon deaf ears. How did you choose to respond to that environmental failure? Did you run away and hide? No, you fought. How do we as children fight for our needs? A multitude of different ways, but let us say you got angry and started to yell and demand.

All of a sudden, your environment responded, and fighting worked. Finally, something that made your needs visible. Over time, that skill has been further and further refined. There is a point where you may have even reached mastery with that skill. However, that skill can also be the most prominent thing in your way today. Individuals who are hypervigilant and know how to fight to meet their needs can have difficulty putting down their swords and shields. I want to take the time to validate your ability to fight and, at the same time, invite you to look inward at its purpose.

How tired are you? How often do you get tired of making all of the decisions? Are you highly familiar with your anger? I have a potentially new question for you, how often have those been there for you? How often have they been there to protect you? I would invite you to become curious about your abilities, especially the ability to fight. I invite you to question the purpose of your fighting and ask how it protects you from danger. Once you can see your fighting instinct as benevolent, you can start to approach it with kindness. Start today. Be curious about your long-held ability to protect yourself from danger.

If you have any additional questions that your local Iowa City Therapist could answer, please let me know, and I will dedicate a crafted post to the said question. I appreciate your curiosity, your work, and your time. Until next time, thank you for stopping by, and I hope you find the therapy that best fits you and your needs. Don't hesitate to contact me if you are looking for a therapist in Iowa City! Take care and be well.