How Personality Tests Can Strengthen Your Romantic Relationship

You likely at some point in your life have taken a personality test of some sort. This could have been The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, The Big Five, The Enneagram Personality Test, or even just a Buzzfeed quiz telling you what Harry Potter house you belong to. These all can be a lot of fun to take as they can help you learn more about yourself and can be downright entertaining.

However, they can also be useful tools for learning more about your romantic partner and help better your relationship with them. These tests can do this by pointing out personality differences between you and your partner that might lead to challenges you’ll need to work on together. Also, they can help you discover new ways to show your love for your romantic partner and communicate your romantic needs to them.

Now, of course, some tests are more respected in academia and useful than others. Buzzfeed probably doesn’t have as many deep insights to offer as say, The Big Five, which can be particularly helpful in pointing out areas to work on in a relationship.

Understanding The Differences Between You and Your Partner

The Big Five will assess you on five metrics which are agreeableness, conscientiousness, extraversion, neuroticism, and openness to experience. Where you and your partner fall on these five spectrums can help you realize various differences between the two of you worth discussing.

For instance, if one of you is an introvert and the other an extrovert, this can cause conflict centering around the right amount to socialize either together or with other people. The extrovert will likely want to do stuff as a couple more often and go to social events and places. The introvert, by contrast, will likely prefer spending more time alone to recharge or spending time with just their partner, away from crowds.

Therefore, if the differences are large enough on this metric between you and your partner you will likely need to discuss this personality difference and come to an arrangement that works for both of you. Perhaps the extrovert finds some activities they can do with friends every month while the introvert stays home to spend time alone. Maybe, the introvert agrees to make sure to go on scheduled date nights together, the extrovert plans.

Potentially, the extrovert might start making sure to more often check in with their more introverted partner and see how they’re feeling. After all, as an introvert, they might more so internalize their negative feelings and not speak up compared to the extrovert. Of course, you and your partner having differences in how extraverted you are is just one example of a potential personality incompatibility worth talking about.

If one partner is high in conscientiousness they might feel like the less conscientious partner can be a bit lazy. By contrast, the partner lower in conscientiousness might feel like the partner higher in it complains a lot and is too uptight. In order to avoid conflict surrounding this personality difference, it might be helpful to make explicit who is in charge of what house chores or tasks and when they are expected to be done. It could also be helpful to just discuss what level of messiness and disorganization both of you are ok with for extended periods of time.

Part of this might involve looking at another metric of The Big Five, which is agreeableness. If you are more agreeable you may need to learn to better speak up for yourself in a relationship and express your feelings and needs. However, if you are lower in agreeableness you may need to learn to ask your partner more often how they are feeling and what they think, and then listen to them.

I could, of course, go on about more insights to be gained from The Big Five than I mentioned but then this blog would be thousands of words long. So, to learn everything you can about what it has to say about you and your partner’s relationship, you and your partner can take it here https://www.understandmyself.com.

However, it isn’t the only personality test that can help you in your relationship. Perhaps you need to learn how to better make sure your partner feels loved and cared for and how to communicate your emotional needs to them. In this case, the 5 Love Languages might be good to take as well.

Learning the 5 Love Languages

This test, which you can find here https://5lovelanguages.com/, showcases what your and your partner’s primary ways of feeling loved are from a list of five different love languages. These languages are acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. For additional learning, here is the book!

If you are someone who feels mostly loved when your partner spends alone time with you doing something you enjoy, this test can be a good way to show this fact to your partner when the test showcases your love language is quality time. It could then start an important conversation between the two of you where you agree to make sure to spend some time each month doing something together, just the two of you.

Alternatively, it could start a conversation on how you don’t like it when your partner is on their phone too much when you are together. This could be because it makes you feel less loved when they are on their phone instead of spending time with you. Furthermore, this test might make you realize a new way you can make your partner feel loved.

For instance, perhaps their love language is words of affirmation. In that case, perhaps you can make sure to compliment them more often and tell them how much you love them and what you like about them. You might be surprised how you and your partner making small changes like this, and having a few difficult but important conversations, might significantly improve your relationship. And to think, this improvement could be the result of some quick and simple personality tests.

After all, personality tests can be an effective way to quickly learn more about yourself, your partner, and how to make a relationship between the two of you better work. You might learn how to better balance your social needs, finally sit down and clearly discuss each other’s responsibilities to one another, and see what each of you has to improve on in the relationship.

Additionally, you could also learn how to better teach your partner to show their love for you and make them feel loved in turn. And really, that should be considered invaluable information that is worth taking a few minutes out of your day to take a test to learn.

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