Millions of individuals are looking to start therapy like you are. I want to help you break down what this process might look like and help you find the right therapist for you. Therapy is a process where you talk to a licensed, trained professional to help you with your thoughts, feelings, or any mental health challenges you might be facing. The therapist listens to you and provides support without judgment. In therapy, you can talk about anything on your mind, such as your emotions, relationships, work or school stress, or any difficulties you may be experiencing. The therapist will work with you to understand your concerns in detail and help you find ways to cope with them, process them, and move through those issues. Therapy sessions usually occur in a safe and confidential environment where you can freely express yourself. The therapist will ask you questions and potentially suggest affirming mental health strategies to help you gain new perspectives or develop healthier emotional habits. They might also teach you techniques to manage stress, anxiety, or other challenges you are currently facing. Remember, therapy is a collaborative process, which means you and your therapist work together to tailor your experience to exactly what you need.

The Therapist’s Mission

The therapist's goal is to help you discover your strengths and resources so that you can make positive changes in your life. They are there to help you process pain and move past life-long discomfort. It's important to note that therapy takes time and a large amount of emotional effort. It's not a quick fix but a journey of self-exploration and growth. The frequency and duration of therapy sessions will depend on your needs and goals. Still, you can expect about an hour per session on average when you do decide to head into your therapy experience. Overall, therapy is a supportive and confidential space where you can talk openly, gain insights, process false shame-based narratives, process trauma, and develop skills to improve your well-being and overall quality of life. Here are some things to remember when thinking about the therapy process. 

1. Actively Building a Relationship: The first step in therapy is establishing a strong and trusting relationship with your therapist. This relationship provides a safe and supportive environment where you can openly express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment. Ideally, Your therapist will actively listen and show empathy, helping you feel understood and validated while processing through your mental and emotional disturbances.

2. Identifying Mental Health Concerns: During therapy sessions, you'll have the opportunity to discuss the specific challenges or issues you face, otherwise known as a presenting problem. This identification process could cover anything from relationship problems, stress, anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, or any other difficulties affecting your mental health and well-being. Your therapist will ask questions to understand your situation on a deeper level and help you explore the underlying causes and patterns contributing to your struggles.

3. Gaining Insight: Therapy helps you gain insight into your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. By exploring and discussing your experiences with your therapist, you can better understand yourself and the factors influencing your well-being. This self-awareness can lead to discovering new perspectives, recognizing and changing unhelpful patterns, and identifying areas for personal growth and change.

4. Learning Coping Strategies: Your therapist will provide you with various coping strategies and tools to deal with your therapy-related challenges effectively. These strategies could include relaxation, mindfulness, communication, and problem-solving techniques. You'll learn how to navigate difficult situations, manage stress, regulate emotions, and make healthier choices through therapy.

5. Setting Goals and Monitoring Progress: With your therapist, you'll set specific goals for therapy. These goals reflect what you hope to achieve and work on during the therapeutic process, and where you want to be when you are done. Your therapist will regularly check in with you to monitor your progress, evaluate the effectiveness of the strategies being used, and make any necessary adjustments to ensure you're on track.

6. Support and Validation: One of the essential aspects of therapy is having someone who supports and validates your experiences. Your therapist is there to provide encouragement and reassurance along the way. They can help you challenge negative self-perceptions, boost your self-esteem, and cultivate a positive outlook. The topic of resonance is one of the most impactful ways therapy works.

What You Can Expect Within a Therapy Session

Therapy is a personalized and collaborative process that evolves based on your needs and goals. Depending on what suits you best, it may involve different therapeutic approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), psycho-dynamic therapy, and mindfulness-based approaches to only name a few among hundreds of approaches. Therapy can help you develop new skills, gain clarity, and empower you to make positive changes in your life. It's a journey of self-discovery and growth that supports your overall well-being and enhances your quality of life. Below is a list of things you can expect to benefit from within your therapeutic process. 

1. Emotional Support: Therapy provides a space to express and process your emotions freely. Talking about your feelings with a compassionate and non-judgmental professional can bring relief and a sense of emotional release (that resonance we spoke about earlier). Your therapist can help you navigate difficult emotions, such as sadness, anger, or fear, and guide you in managing them effectively.

2. Challenging Negative Patterns: Therapy can help you recognize and challenge negative thinking patterns, feelings, and behaviors that may hold you back. Toxic-based shame sticks in your systems since you were small, and therapy helps you challenge those narratives to restore your true, healthy self. Your therapist can assist you in identifying and reframing unhelpful thoughts or beliefs contributing to your distress. By gaining a fresh perspective, you can cultivate healthier and more adaptive ways of thinking and responding to life's challenges.

3. Building Skills and Resilience: Therapy equips you with practical skills and tools to cope with various situations and stressors. These skills include assertiveness, problem-solving, conflict resolution, self-care practices, and self-compassion. As you develop these skills, you become more resilient, better equipped to navigate difficulties, and able to maintain your well-being even after therapy concludes.

4. Personal Growth and Self-Exploration: Therapy addresses immediate and core concerns to gain consistent personal growth and self-exploration opportunities. It allows you to better understand your values, strengths, and aspirations. Through therapy, you can explore your identity, discover your passions, and work towards becoming the best version of yourself.

5. Support for Life Transitions: Therapy can be beneficial during significant life transitions, such as starting a new job, ending a relationship, becoming a parent, or retiring. These transitions often bring about mixed emotions and challenges. Your therapist can provide guidance, support, and help you navigate these changes, offering tools and strategies to manage stress, adapt to new roles, and find a sense of balance and purpose.

6. Confidentiality and Privacy: Confidentiality is a crucial aspect of therapy. Your therapist is bound by professional ethics to keep your discussions confidential, ensuring that your privacy is protected. This confidentiality creates a safe space where you can freely share your thoughts and concerns without fear of them being shared with others.

Where to Find Your Therapist

Here we go, it is time to start that search! Remember as you make your way through this process that It can take time to see progress, and it's important to be patient with yourself. It's okay to have ups and downs along the way, as therapy provides a supportive and non-judgmental environment to work through your challenges and grow. All the above help is terrific, but how does someone know where to start when looking for a therapist? Great question; the following is where I would start!

1. Insurance Provider: If you have health insurance, check with your insurance provider to see if they cover mental health services and ask for a list of in-network therapists. This can help narrow down your options and potentially reduce out-of-pocket costs.

2. Primary Care Physician: Consult with your primary care physician or general practitioner. They may have recommendations or be able to refer you to a therapist or mental health clinic in your area.

3. Online Directories: Utilize online directories that list therapists in your local area. Some popular directories include Psychology Today (www.psychologytoday.com), GoodTherapy (www.goodtherapy.org), or TherapyDen (www.therapyden.com). These directories allow you to search by location, specialization, and other criteria to find therapists who meet your specific needs.

4. Referrals from Friends and Family: Seek recommendations from friends, family, or trusted individuals who have had positive experiences with therapy. Personal referrals can provide valuable insights and help you find a recommended therapist.

5. Mental Health Hotlines and Helplines: Contact your country or region's mental health hotlines or helplines. They can provide guidance, support, and referrals to local therapists or mental health resources.

6. Community Mental Health Centers: Community mental health centers often provide affordable or low-cost therapy services. They may have a team of therapists or counselors who can help address various mental health concerns. Search for community mental health centers in your area and inquire about their services.

7. Online Therapy Platforms: Consider online therapy platforms that offer virtual therapy sessions. These platforms connect you with licensed therapists who provide remote counseling via video calls or messaging. Examples include BetterHelp (www.betterhelp.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com), or Amwell (www.amwell.com/therapy).

8. Professional Associations: Consult professional mental health associations or organizations in your country or region. These associations often maintain directories of qualified therapists. Some examples are the American Psychological Association (APA) in the United States and the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) in the United Kingdom.

Finding the right therapist is personal, and finding the best fit for you may take time. When deciding, it's important to consider factors such as expertise, approach, and rapport you start to establish in the initial consultation. Feel free to contact multiple therapists, schedule initial consultations, and ask questions to determine if they meet your needs and preferences.

How to Get Past Your Initial Therapy Nerves

But Tyler, what if I am feeling nervous about my first session? That is completely normal. Many people experience these emotions when starting therapy because it's a new and unfamiliar experience. Here are some suggestions to help you navigate those nerves:

1. Remind Yourself of the Purpose: Remember why you decided to seek therapy in the first place. Reflect on the potential benefits and positive outcomes therapy can bring to your life. Please write down your reasons for seeking therapy and revisit them when you feel nervous.

2. Educate Yourself: Familiarize yourself with the therapy process and what to expect during your first appointment. You can reach out to the therapy practice or therapist beforehand and ask any questions you may have. Understanding what will happen during the session can alleviate some of the uncertainty and anxiety.

3. Seek Support: Share your concerns with a trusted friend or family member. Talking about your nervousness can help alleviate some of the anxiety. They may provide reassurance, encouragement or even share their own positive experiences with therapy.

4. Communicate with Your Therapist: Consider reaching out to your therapist before your appointment to express your nerves. They are trained to understand and empathize with your concerns. They can provide guidance, explain the process further, or offer support to help you feel more comfortable.

5. Take Deep Breaths and Relaxation Techniques: Before your appointment, practice deep breathing exercises or other relaxation techniques to help calm your nerves. Focusing on your breath can help slow down your heart rate and relax your body. You can find guided relaxation exercises or meditation apps to assist you.

6. Remember You're in Control: It's essential to remember that therapy is a collaborative process, and you have control over what you share and discuss during the session. You can take it at your own pace and share only what you feel comfortable with. Building trust with your therapist takes time; they will respect your boundaries and provide support accordingly.

7. Keep an Open Mind: Approach your first therapy session with an open mind. Remember that your therapist is there to help you, and they are trained to create a supportive and non-judgmental environment. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable and trust the process.

Lastly, remember that feeling nervous is a common experience for many people beginning therapy. It often subsides as you become more familiar with the therapeutic process and build a rapport with your therapist. Be kind to yourself and recognize that taking this step to prioritize your well-being is courageous. Take time, and find the best match for you. Trust your intuition and prioritize your comfort, as a strong therapeutic relationship can significantly enhance the effectiveness of therapy.